32 Ways to Annoy Vader
by Goblin Girl's Cast Members
Summary: G.G. and Ark's methods to get Vader to join the Cast.
1. The List

Ark was tapping his foot impatiently as Jessica typed up the list.

"Are you done yet?" Ark whined.

"No." Jessica answered calmly while her eyes remained glued to the screen.

Ark waited a good thirty seconds before asking again.

"No." Jessica repeated.

Twenty seconds later…

"Are you done yet?"

"No."

Ten seconds.

"Are you done yet?"

One seconds.

"Are you done yet?!"

"Yes."

Ark all but pushed Jessica out of the chair.

Ark's eyes carefully read the screen in front of him. The screen read:

1)Eat all his Pringles.

2)Turn on and off the lights in the Death Star in morse code saying, 'Vader, join the Cast!'

3)Tell Han Solo to steal Vader's Pringles Delivery Ship and to fly around the Death Star and make up excuses why he can't enter.

4)Paint the Executor yellow.

5)Paint his eye holes yellow.

6)Lead him to the Trash Compactor. Push him in if he refuses to join the Cast.

7)Handcuff him to Jar Jar, Chewie, and an Ewok.

8)Give him a room full of Pringles. Pringles that are filled with snakes.

9)Play the Anakin song over the intercom. All day.

10)Play Om Nom Nom in a creepy voice all randomly throughout the day.

11)When he has Bounty Hunters over, cry like a baby. Then pretend you're being force-choked.

12)Steal the Empire's supply of cookies.

13)Use the brig to interrogate Mickey about the Disney Vault.

14)Have a water fight in the hallways with his Stormtroopers.

15)Blast an alarm in his room every ten minutes or so, so he can't sleep

16)Then mock him the next morning when he has pillows duct taped to the ear holes in his helmet.

17)Explode the Death Star to see if a cell phone can endure it.

18)Play tag with all his Stormtroopers and Admirals on both the Death Star and Executor. (Put up at a transporter if necessary).

19)Paint the Death Star pink.

20)Give his Stormtroopers yellow and pink suits. Give his Admirals orange suits.

21)Fill his TIE fighter with Dagobah and Yoda. Ask Yoda to sing the Yoda song.

22)Set Yoda loose in the command room.

23)Super glue Yoda's backpack to him and put Yoda in it.

24)Play the Yoda song on the intercom before Yoda comes to the Death Star.

25)Put him in a room with the Nyan Cat song playing.

26)Take out all the floors of the Death Star and replace them with trampolines.

27)Ask Han Solo to shoot down Vader's ship near Dagobah. Stoll away on the ship.

28)Have an Ultimate Capture the Flag tournament with laser tag on the Death Star. Without his permission.

29)Dress up as him and give randomish commands to his officers.

30)Put your little sibling in a Vader costume.

31)Follow him and repeat everything he says.

32)Block all his files. Keep them blocked until he reads all of Goblin Girl's Cast Members' stories

"Only thirty-two?" Ark asked, spinning around to face Jessica.

"Well excuse me, I wasn't the one who got only half of the things _he _hated downloaded." Jessica huffed.

"How was I supposed to know that Vader had a silent alarm on his computer?!" Ark defended. "I was lucky to get these at least!"

Jessica facepalmed. "Are you sure that he won't kill us if we do any of these?"

"Pretty sure." Ark answered. "Besides if he does, Hades would just bring us back to life since you're good friends with Nico, right?"

"That's what we're hoping for." Jessica said. "Now, which one are we doing first?"

* * *

**Well, what do you think of our list?-G.G.**

**That we have a death wish or something?-Ark**

**A lot of people would think that.-W.G.**

**... I'm not even going to ask how you got here.-G.G.**

**Are you going to do the disclaimer?-G.K.**

**... Not going to ask.*sighs* All we own is the creativity some of the ideas and ourselves.-G.G.**

**Can I say the "Stay tuned!" thing?-Tim (Yoda's little half brother)**

**...*nods*-G.G.**

**Stay tuned!-Tim**


	2. 1

1)Eat all his Pringles.

Vader had searched the Death Star from top to bottom, but there was no sign of Ark or Jessica. Or anyone but Stormtroopers for that matter.

So far, there weren't any attempts from the Cast so far. But considering this crazy universe they live in, Vader probably just jinxed it.

As Vader walked past a room, he thought he heard some crunching sounds. Then, as though lightning had struck him, Vader realized that it was his _Pringles Room_.

Using the Force, Vader slammed opened the door. And he was met by a horrible sight.

All his officers and admirals were eating his chips! Not only them, but even Luke and Leia! And Han, Chewie, Anakin, Obi Wan, Dracula, Verona, Aleera, and Marishka. Even the Cast, Jareth, Trellis, Orko, Shantel, Axel, Roxas, Xion, Rex, Cody, A.A.V., Jessica, and Ark.

"What are you doing in here?!" Vader shouted at the intruders.

Everyone looked up in mid-bite.

"Out!"

Nobody needed to be told twice. Well, almost nobody.

When everyone was out, Vader noticed that a couple of people were missing.

Vader whirled around in time to see Ark press a button and slam the door.

* * *

Jessica winced as Vader yelled and pounded on the doors.

"He's going to kill us!" Jessica whispered in horror.

"Nah." Ark said, chomping on some Pringles.

Orko gulped. "He probably will…"

Ark paid him no mind.

Jessica, Orko, Rex, Cody, and the A.A.V. glanced seriously at each other.

"Well, I don't have a death wish." Rex stated. "Do you guys?"

The others shook their heads no. Ark didn't hear.

Then, Jessica's ears perked at a strange sound.

"Someone please tell me that wasn't the sound of a lightsaber igniting." Jessica begged.

The next second, a red blade punctured through the door.

"He's cutting through!" they shouted.

"Quick!" Jessica shouted, pressing buttons on her bracelet.

The Stormtroopers, A.A.V., and Orko grabbed onto Jessica before they poofed away, leaving a munching Ark behind.

* * *

Vader finally finished cutting the door down.

It fell down to revile Ark eat the last of the Pringles.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo!" Vader fell to his knees.

Ark froze. As soon as Vader got up, Ark cried out, "Transporto Shipèto!" and he was gone.

Vader stalked over to Jareth and grabbed him by his collar.

"Where did he transport himself to?!" Vader 'asked'.

"Would your precious ship, the _Executor_, mean anything to you?" Jareth replied innocently.

Vader let him go and stalked away.

"Tell the ship to find Ark and put in the brig." Vader told a random Officer. "And make sure he doesn't touch anything."

"…Yes sir."

Had Vader not been so worried about his precious _Executer,_ he may have noticed that the Officer's voice was strangely female.

* * *

Jessica glanced up and grinned as Vader stormed off.

"Nice disguise."

Jessica turned to all the amused faces.

"Where did you get that outfit?" Anakin asked.

Jessica glanced down at her black Imperial outfit.

"Vader gave it to me when we were roommates." explained Jessica.

"Where are the others?" Shantel asked, somewhat worried.

Jessica held her bracelet up.

"Why did you do get us to do that, kid?" Han demanded. "Do you want everyone to have a slow and painful death?"

Before Jessica could answer, Admiral Piett spoke up.

"I believe it has something it to do with this." Piett held up a paper that read '32 Ways to Annoy Vader' in big black letters.

"Where did you get that?" Jessica asked, trying to get the paper, but Piett held it high above her.

"Ark emailed all of us this." Piett said, trying to hide a smile and failing.

"What?!" Jessica exclaimed. "He wasn't suppose to do that!"

"Why did you guys make it, anyway?" Luke interrupted, curiosity eating at him.

Jessica didn't answer right away, but soon an evil glint developed in her eyes.

"Operation Get-Vader-to-Join-the-Cast is ago!"

* * *

**That's right.-G.G.'**

**We're using the list to get Vader onto the Cast!-Ark**

**Disclaimer.-G.K.**

***sighs* Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, Anakin, Obi Wan, Piett and my Stormtroopers, Rex & Cody belong to Star Wars. Dracula, Verona, Aleera, & Marishka belong to Van Helsing. Jareth (G.K.) belongs to Labyrinth. Trellis belongs to Amulet. Orko belongs to the Old He-Man show. Axel, Roxas, & Xion belong to Kingdom Hearts. The Awkward Avoidance Viking (A.A.V.) belongs to Studio C. Shantel (W.G.) belongs to W.G.. Ark belongs to Ark. G.G. belongs to me.-G.G.**

**What one are you doing next?-Tim**

**Wait and see.-G.G.**

**So stay tuned!-Ark**


End file.
